From a Pup to a Senior Citizen.

(written by Oliver Austin Simpson Uncapher)

First let me introduced myself. My name in Ollie and I have lived with Mike Uncapher for the past eleven years. We stared in Toledo, went to Marion and are now residing in Charlotte. Over the time I have spent many nights in Marysville and Fremont. Not sure where any of these cities are located. Do you?

Also, I am a yellow lab or that’s what I’m told after visiting the mean lady who likes to stick a needle in my nose. Ouch!!

Over the course of my life I have watched my ‘pets’ evolve and I have aged as well. Here are 25 things that have changed throughout my life.

1. As a puppy if I pooped in the house, I would be disciplined, but as a Senior Citizen my mess would be cleaned up and my ‘pets’ would feel guilty about leaving me home alone so long.

2. As a puppy, I could chase the ball for hours, but as a Senior Citizen after 3 tosses I take my ball to my bed to hide the ball and take a four nap.

3. As a puppy if could walk for hours, but as a Senior Citizen I can sleep for hours.

4. As a puppy I think I was awake for 16 hours. Now I think I sleep at least 16 hours.

5. As a puppy I played on the steps. Now I hate steps.

6. As a puppy I barked at everyone I would see riding in the car. Now, I still bark at everyone I see riding in the car. Guess some things don’t change.

7. As a puppy if I fell asleep in their bed, my pets would kick me out of the bed. Now, my pets will sleep in another bed.

8. As a puppy when my ‘pets’ came home I could hold my bladder for some time. Today, I have to go as soon as they get home.

9. As a puppy I was never allowed to clean the dirty dishes. Now, I lick the dishes spotless.

10. As a puppy I had to do stupid tricks to receive a treat. Now I just look pitiful at Teri, and I can have a treat.

11. As a puppy I could outrun my master forever. Now, I’m tired after 30 minutes.

12. As a puppy if I ate chocolate, I received a free ride to the vet. Today, nothing happens because every time I hate chocolate before I was fine.

13. As a puppy I would be so excited to greet guest at the front door I may pee on them. Currently, I wait for them to come saw ‘Hi” to me as I rest in my bed.

14. As a puppy I hated the doorbell. Now I don’t hear the doorbell.

15. As a puppy I obeyed obedience commands, but as a Senior Citizen I pretend I don’t hear my ‘pets’ talking.

16. As a puppy if everyone got excited I got excited too. Now, I continue to sleep.

17. As a puppy I spent a lot of time in the crate. Now, I can escape from the crate.

18. As a puppy I ate many unorthodox things (like a golf cart seat, garden hose, cordless phone, and pillows among a few). Currently, I have few teeth.

19. As a puppy I hated the vacuum sucker. In my life I have forced my ‘pets’ to purchase 4 new vacuum cleaners.

20. As a puppy I was a chick magnet. Now I’m adorable.

21. As a puppy I hated cats. Still do.

22. As a puppy I flunk obedience school. Now I don’t remember a thing.

23. As a puppy if I wanted up in the middle of the night I would jump on my ‘pets’, but as a Senior Citizen I stick my tongue in their mouth.

24.

25. As a puppy I loved my ‘pets’ and today I still do.