From a Pup to a Senior Citizen.

(written by Oliver Austin Simpson Uncapher)

First let me introduced myself. My name in Ollie and I have lived with Mike Uncapher for the past eleven years. We stared in Toledo, went to Marion and are now residing in Charlotte. Over the time I have spent many nights in Marysville and Fremont. Not sure where any of these cities are located. Do you?

Also, I am a yellow lab or that’s what I’m told after visiting the mean lady who likes to stick a needle in my nose. Ouch!!

Over the course of my life I have watched my ‘pets’ evolve and I have aged as well. Here are 25 things that have changed throughout my life.

1. As a puppy if I pooped in the house, I would be disciplined, but as a Senior Citizen my mess would be cleaned up and my ‘pets’ would feel guilty about leaving me home alone so long.

2. As a puppy, I could chase the ball for hours, but as a Senior Citizen after 3 tosses I take my ball to my bed to hide the ball and take a four nap.

3. As a puppy if could walk for hours, but as a Senior Citizen I can sleep for hours.

4. As a puppy I think I was awake for 16 hours. Now I think I sleep at least 16 hours.

5. As a puppy I played on the steps. Now I hate steps.

6. As a puppy I barked at everyone I would see riding in the car. Now, I still bark at everyone I see riding in the car. Guess some things don’t change.

7. As a puppy if I fell asleep in their bed, my pets would kick me out of the bed. Now, my pets will sleep in another bed.

8. As a puppy when my ‘pets’ came home I could hold my bladder for some time. Today, I have to go as soon as they get home.

9. As a puppy I was never allowed to clean the dirty dishes. Now, I lick the dishes spotless.

10. As a puppy I had to do stupid tricks to receive a treat. Now I just look pitiful at Teri, and I can have a treat.

11. As a puppy I could outrun my master forever. Now, I’m tired after 30 minutes.

12. As a puppy if I ate chocolate, I received a free ride to the vet. Today, nothing happens because every time I hate chocolate before I was fine.

13. As a puppy I would be so excited to greet guest at the front door I may pee on them. Currently, I wait for them to come saw ‘Hi” to me as I rest in my bed.

14. As a puppy I hated the doorbell. Now I don’t hear the doorbell.

15. As a puppy I obeyed obedience commands, but as a Senior Citizen I pretend I don’t hear my ‘pets’ talking.

16. As a puppy if everyone got excited I got excited too. Now, I continue to sleep.

17. As a puppy I spent a lot of time in the crate. Now, I can escape from the crate.

18. As a puppy I ate many unorthodox things (like a golf cart seat, garden hose, cordless phone, and pillows among a few). Currently, I have few teeth.

19. As a puppy I hated the vacuum sucker. In my life I have forced my ‘pets’ to purchase 4 new vacuum cleaners.

20. As a puppy I was a chick magnet. Now I’m adorable.

21. As a puppy I hated cats. Still do.

22. As a puppy I flunk obedience school. Now I don’t remember a thing.

23. As a puppy if I wanted up in the middle of the night I would jump on my ‘pets’, but as a Senior Citizen I stick my tongue in their mouth.

24.

25. As a puppy I loved my ‘pets’ and today I still do.

Is the fullback a dying position in the NFL?

Is the fullback a dying position in the NFL?

Watching the semi-final games today on television, I chuckled to myself when the teams introduced their starting line-ups? Each team announces their starters in an I-formation; quarterback, two receivers, tight end and a FULLBACK. Yes a fullback.

Although watching the games today; the teams rarely utilized the fullback consistently on offense. Many teams typically use formations that include three to four wide receiver sets on offense. The Stealers even announced David Johnson as their starting fullback which was later shared by Jim Nantz that Johnson is listed as the Steelers’ third string tight end on their depth chart. No true fullback, Steelers?

Then, thinking about this topic before writing my blog; not many teams employ the fullback in their offence. I know the Cleveland Browns utilize the fullback often in their offense because that is the team I follow, and on many occasions I have watched Lawrence Vickers create holes for the Browns’ running backs. (Don’t chuckle the Browns did have a 1000 yard rusher in 2010) However, I can’t think of another team that consistently plays a fullback? Can you?

Even when NFL teams are searching to draft a fullback their scouts have to scour the college campuses because many college teams are currently showcasing spread-open offenses which don’t often incorporate a fullback. This is actually another blog topic because many colleges use spread-open offenses while NFL teams utilize pro-style offenses but that’s another day.

That’s why I believe some teams are incorporating the halfback into their offensive formations. The halfback is a morph of the tight end and fullback positions. A player who can periodically run with the pig skin, catch a few passes but most importantly block for his teammates from different positions. Also, saves the team a valuable roster spot which can be reserved for another valuable need. This was the spot that some experts believe would be Tim Tebow’s best position; as well as, Terrelle Pryor's whenever he goes pro. So far Tebrow may have proven some wrong, can Pryor?

I know every year a fullback is elected to the Pro Bowl, but is the NFL trying to keep a dying dinosaur from extinction? From the football Hall of Fame web page the last time a fullback was elected was 1987 and that was Larry Csonka and John Henry Johnson. Who will be the next fullback elected into the Hall of Fame; Lorenzo Neal from the San Diego Charger or Daryl “Moose” Johnson from the Dallas Cowboys? Or do you recommend someone else? But needless to say not many kinds want to grow up and play fullback.

(For a complete list of members in the Hall of Fame please select this link, http://www.profootballhof.com/hof/positions.aspx)

Is Urban Meyer a coach or just an Urban legend?

At the conclusion of the University of Florida Gators’ Outback bowl game in Tampa Bay, Florida at Raymond James Stadium against Penn State University, Urban Meyer will conclude his tenure at University of Florida as head coach for health reasons. This will be the third collegian university Meyer has vacated even though the first two were for job promotions.

Although I was never a die-hard fan of any colleges Urban Meyer has coached, for some odd reason I have taken an peculiar interest on how his teams have performed and how long Meyer stays at one institution. I am completely clueless as to why. While I know he has been victorious no matter where he has landed, there is something about his coaching style that has stirred my belly in a bad swirl.

Before the Gator lovers start ordering a hit squad against me, I understand the honors that Mr. Meyer has received over the years; National Championships in 2006 and 2008, national coach of the year in 2004, as well as numerous conference titles along the way.

However, where I see the urban legend is the fact the man has never stayed a head coach at one place very long. He coached two seasons at University of Bowling Green and University of Utah respectively before spending the last six seasons at the University of Florida although he considered leaving Florida after five years.

I even vocally question the move to Utah because I thought the job change was a lateral move instead of a job promotion. Apparently, I was wrong there because the football voters respect teams from the Mountain West Conference over the Mid-American Conference. My bad!!

Although I will not apologies for the following statement: I have always wondered when Meyer was seeking new employment the decision that his starting quarterbacks at BGSU and Utah were leaving for the NFL draft factored into his decision, Alex Smith from Utah (#1 overall pick in 2005 draft) and Josh Harris at BGSU. I really doubt Meyer will honestly answer my question. Meyer even considered leaving Florida after Tim Tebow graduated. Does he not trust his choice for the next quarterback or was he always looking for the next big thing?

Hardly anyone can successfully build a college program after two years and six seasons at one institution, although extremely victorious, begins the formation of a strong concrete base. The next step is to build on that base, and next season would be a great season to strengthen the Florida mold after a mediocre year. Don’t get me wrong some fans would enjoy a 7 win year with 5 loses and a bowl victory against Penn State. However, are those Florida standards after his first 5 years?

I rarely doubt there is another coach like Joe Paterno at Penn State or Frank Beamer at Virginia Tech who stays at one university for their entire coaching career. Even though I believe the President or Athletic Director who ever fires Mr. Joe Paterno is afraid of circumstances from alumni. But, I do believe a coach needs to establish a longer tenure then six years to earn the status as a legend.

In my opinion the ONE item lacking from Urban Meyers resume is longevity. He can build a program but how long can he carry a program? Can he survive adversity? How does be respond to a losing season or even an average year like Florida’s 2010 season. Can Meyer be as successful with all the rewards and recognition with his team’s second generation quarterback for three to four college football seasons? As of today we don’t know those answers. These are questions as to why I believe Meyers coaching career is more of an urban legend instead of a legend like Joe Paterno.

I will never insult anyone for leaving a job for medical matters or to spend more time with their family, but I will always wonder if Urban Meyer’s short time in Florida will end up as an Urban Legend instead of a Legend.

Not everything should be done in groups…

How was your Monday night? Mine didn’t start out watching Monday Night Football, but ended with a beer.

Like almost every day I activated my computer to review all the new job possibilities on the World Wide Web. I located an ad on Craig’s list promoting ‘Guest Services’, so I read the advertisement and then called the listed phone number for further details.

Next thing I knew I had an interview set up with Company X at 6:15 that evening. I knew little about them and when I tried to expand my knowledge about their services their web page requested personal information before I could review their products. I should have known here to jump ship and swim away, but I’ll take any interview even for practice.

Arriving at their office early, I was not surprised to find the room filled with other job hunting hopefuls. As I was located a seat I quickly scanned the room. There were individuals of all ages in the room dressed from casual to office Friday to office professional. My favorite was the young man with black Nike high-tops, khaki slacks, purple golf shirt and a black leather jacket with a red dragon on the back. Everyone in the room kept to themselves, and we were first instructed to fill out a short application document.

When the manager finally addressed the crowd, he informed us that he would be conducting the initial interviews in pairs in his office. I’ve never seen this done before, have you? The really odd thing with his pairing was that he summoned a guy and girl together each time. Like he was a marriage counselor helping these lost couples find a resolution by working for him.

Since the man had a booming voice, I camped near his office door, so I could hear the questions he asked each contestant. His questions were short and brief but the same for all. He reviewed the application and resume if you remembered to bring one. At the conclusion of each marriage interview, he gave each couple the option of relocating into a large room for the second phase of the interview or to leave. So far no one rejected this opportunity for phase two.

When my turn was summoned, I was paired with a young lady like the rest of the groups in front of us. In the room he reviewed our applications and asked the same appropriate questions. We both passed the initial muster but instead of giving us the option to further our interview we were told to relocate to the holding room with the others.

Inside this room I kept my ears open and mouth shut and found a seat in the corner. We walked into a room (which we were directed to be quite) where the conversation was directed towards if Obama was helping the economy and keeping all his political promises. LAST TIME I CHECKED YOU DON’T DISCUSS POLITICS OR RELIGION AT INTERVIEWS, CORRECT? No fear in a few minutes the conversation swayed to Obama’s religion views as well. I stayed on the banks not wanting to commit interview suicide with these participants.

After a few minutes the manager informed us that the second stage would start soon. He was concluding the interviews. Not many people joined the party after my group. I did not see Red Dragon.

After the manager aligned us boy girl boy girl around his desk (I was placed next to my ‘new’ work spouse), he conducted the remaining interview reading from a script and showing us his company’s product, which is knives. He demonstrated a fine display on how the knives cut compared to other knives. Their sharpness and durability were shared too. Many oohs and awhs were received along the way.

Then half way through his speech someone left because they claim their ride was waiting for them. Then his temper changed because he accused another young lady of smirking and laughing at him. Afterwards, he asked the room, “Does anyone else wish to leave now?” And half the room promptly left. I’ve never seen this before at an interview. Have you? At this point I knew selling his product was not something I really wanted to do although I believed I could. I briefly pondered leaving myself since I was not really interested, as well as, I did promise to cook dinner for Teri. However, I knew leaving prematurely would be unprofessional, and I wanted to provide the gentleman the respect he deserved. I just don’t want to be THAT GUY who asks his friends to buy from him and then rely on their leads for future customers. Would you?

Unfortunately or fortunately the manager held a third interview, and I was the first one called. Guess what? He liked me and wanted to hire me. I didn’t give him an immediate decision. So the questions that I have pondered and ask you, do I accept the job in this bleak market? Do I reject and keep fishing? I ask many of you because most of my friends in Charlotte will be who I ask first for sells? Is selling a hard life to live? Are there better options? I honestly hope so. So please offer me some constructive advice beyond ‘It’s up to you.’